So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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