Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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(503): View more from Oregon

This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.

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(360): View more from Washington

I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.

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(661): View more from California

I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"

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(901): View more from Tennessee

After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man

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