Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
