Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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