Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
