like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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