there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
