Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
