i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
