do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
