i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
