Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize