I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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