I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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