He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
