My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
