He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
