he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
