Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
