would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize