i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
