i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
