Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
