Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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