my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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