The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
