I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize