I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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