worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
