Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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