you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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