this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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