there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
