I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
