i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize