Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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