i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
