You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
