So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
