True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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