she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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