Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
