So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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