I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
