So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
