oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
