Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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