We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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