mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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