I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
