two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
