I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
