its not stalking. its research.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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