I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
