i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
