I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize