I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
