there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
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