He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You may now shotgun with the bride
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
