Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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