Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
