She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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